Which Religion is the True Religion?
Inquiring Minds Want to Know
I’ve heard it said by some that there are many different paths leading to God.
Well, if it’s all the same to God, then I won’t be picking the path the Amish follow or that of the Hasidic Jews. Their lives look really hard. I’m not attracted to the Mormons or the life of a Jehovah Witness. I don’t have the energy for proselytizing. I’m not too interested in the Hare Krishnas and dancing in the street either.
I don’t want to join a group that says my marriage vows are “until death do us part.” I would faint dead away if I hooked up with a Pentecostal, as speaking in tongues freaks me out. I would prefer hanging with brethren at Saturday services since I really love sleeping late on Sunday mornings. You might think that Seventh-day Adventists would be a good choice then, but I also like to mow my lawn on Saturday and go shopping, which would be strictly prohibited.
Hmmm…
I wouldn’t want to go to a church that insisted I cover my head. Neither would I be anxious to give 10% of my hard-earned money on a regular basis. Muslims are out because I do like a teensy bit of alcohol from time to time. The Catholic Church would be a drag because I’m a bit squeamish about eating a piece of human flesh, even if it belongs to Jesus, and drinking blood really turns me off.
Wow! Am I just picky or what?
When it comes to baptism, I prefer sprinkling over dunking, but I would have no way of knowing which one God prefers. I was sprinkled as a baby, but Baptists would never accept that. Plus, Baptists frown on swearing. Not that I have an extremely dirty mouth, but once in a while, I have been known to let the expletives fly. Frankly, I always feel better afterward.
Gosh darn it.
Mennonites? Well, let’s just say I don’t look that good in a prayer cap. Scientology is a bit too weird for my taste — or at least Tom Cruise is. Methodists have made absolutely no impression on my mind. Honestly, I can’t even think of one interesting thing about the Methodists. My attention span is kind of short, so I can’t afford to join a group that puts me to sleep.
Yawn.
I might enjoy the vibe at a black Southern church where everyone gets carried away by the sheer exuberance of gospel music. Yeah, I like that, but if truth be told, I can sing, but I have very little rhythm. I’m afraid I would feel too self-conscious to just let go and participate.
Please, don’t even mention snake handlers. If there’s one thing I do agree with in the Bible, it’s that the devil himself came in the form of a serpent. A serpent is just another word for, yeah, you got it, a snake. That’s how much I hate snakes, mind you.
I wouldn’t want to belong to any church that had a leader by the name of Jerry or Pat.
There’s never been consensus among the faithful as to which deity is the ONE and what that deity may or may not want from us. There is more contention between people of faith than there ever will be between the faithful and unbelievers. In fact, the only time two believers from different churches successfully unite is when an atheist is in the room. But they soon part ways in order to attend their own churches — two massive buildings in the same town where different gods set different rules, and no one knows who’s right.
Seriously? Must I choose? How could anyone know for sure if they’d made the right choice?
Teresa is an author and a professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.
