The Waning Days of Summer
You Can’t Have It All
This morning, I woke up thinking about the waning days of summer. We’ve had an unusually hot summer, but this week has delivered a string of blissful 70s and night-time temps in the 50s. My garden is ripe, full of color and abundance. I feel the summer slipping through my fingers.
Even though I love fall, there’s a bittersweet feeling that comes with the waning days of summer.
Late summer reminds me of so many things. Nostalgia is a double-edged sword, delivering pure delight and eternal longing at the same time. I was a grade five teacher for 22 years. The last six years of my career were spent running an elementary school in rural Maine. Technically, I was in school most of my life. From kindergarten to retirement, I followed the school calendar.
Like Pavlov’s dog, I was programmed to respond to the sight of a yellow school bus.
The waning days of summer reawaken so many childhood memories. My childhood and the childhoods of my children. We enjoyed long summer days at the end of a gravel road where our house stood, an oasis surrounded by trees, trees, and more trees. Sometimes, we piled into the car and drove the few miles to Clearwater Lake to swim. A spring-fed lake that was cold year round. There was no fixed schedule.
During that break from school life, we experienced the lost art of just being.
Yet as summer waned, we knew that things were about to change. Soon, the yellow bus would be at the end of the road waiting. We’d all be returning to schedules and responsibilities.
I loved my job, but I hated to see summer end.
Oddly, my favorite season is autumn. I adore the rustle of leaves, the high color, the crisp air, the blue skies. Yet, winter is just around the corner. You can’t have fall without knowing that winter is around the corner.
In Maine, that meant a long winter, too.
You can’t have summer without the waning days signaling the return of responsibility. You can’t have fall without winter soon nipping at your heels.
You can’t have it all.
As far back as I can remember, this strangely bittersweet feeling brought on by the waning days of summer has haunted me. Whether as a child, teen, young mother, or professional woman, I was always caught off guard by the scent in the air, the cool nights, the ripeness of vegetation, and the warm glow of the sun on my face.
Now, I walk amongst my bower of flowers, clipping spent blooms and watching bees laden with pollen.
I am at peace even as the bittersweet feeling returns. I know where the waning days of summer will lead me. I’ll arrive in a matter of cosmic minutes. I’m in the winter of my life at last. It happened swiftly yet looking back over the years, it was a lifetime of waning summers followed by crisp fall days.
Where did the time go?
Where did all the people who influenced my life go? So many memories. So many experiences. This is where I was headed all along. Mystery solved. Such sweet simplicity. A series of events on the road to growing old.
Why did I think the waning days of summer would last forever?
Teresa is a retired educator, author, world traveler, and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.
