The Older Generation Has Always Criticized the Younger Generation
They Can’t Seem to Help Themselves
What the heck is wrong with kids today? They’re lazy, rebellious and self-centered. They’re also disrespectful to their elders.
People have been saying this since —forever. The older generation stands aghast and shocked at the way the younger generation behaves.
Shocked, I say! Shocked and appalled.
I noticed this cultural phenomenon when I was around twelve. As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, at the age of twelve I started a journey that I’m still taking today, trying to understand what makes humans do what they do.
Granted, I came from a really, really messed up family.
I mean really messed up not just normal messed up. Families tend to be messed up to a greater or lesser degree, but mine should get a prize. I was raised in a religious cult by a father who claimed he had been selected by a god to be the last prophet of the last days. That’s not just weird but dangerous.
I escaped at great risk to my personal well being, but that’s another story for a different day.
What I began to notice when I was twelvish was that my parents were very exacting in their requirements for me and my siblings, but cut themselves lots of slack. They had no trouble criticizing people my age, but little to no self awareness.
I saw them better than they could see themselves.
While we all have trouble at times with self awareness, preferring to see ourselves in the most flattering light possible, some people seem to totally lack self awareness.
I’m sure that I’m not the first kid who recognized what contradictory lives their parents led.
Also, I think I’ve noticed a parallel between how strict parents are and low levels of self awareness. That could also apply to how judgmental people can be.
There’s always a fair share of judgmental elders in any society resulting in sweeping comments like …
Back in my day we did it this way.
I never would’ve spoken to my parents in that way.
Those rebellious hippies are spoiled.
Nobody is willing to make sacrifices today.
The good old days were so much better.
I clothed you, fed you, and gave you life.
This was the way our parents did it, and it’s good enough for us.
After you read this list of comments, depending on your age, you probably realized that you’ve either heard someone say these things or you’ve said one or two of them yourself.
Sorry but we’re all just a product of the culture we inherited at birth.
So, if you grew up in a christian household where mom and dad washed your mouth out with soap for saying words that they said whenever they were angry, then most likely you’re going to think that behavior is normal.
Cultural expectations are far more effective at controlling human behaviors than laws will ever be. Every child born into the American culture inherits a well delivered, deeply engrained message from their parents whether they realize it or not. Your elders not only get the last word but most often the only word. And, if you question them, even with so much as a raised eyebrow, they might be obligated to slap that smart look from your face.
Ouch!
The above are merely a few layers of American cultural expectations that children learn to obey and never question. After all, if they grew up and refused to conform then who would marry them, hire them, or be their friend?
Then there’s our movies, novels, classmates, advertisements, preachers, and priests that enforce the same messages.
Needless to say, if something is repeated often enough, most people accept it as a truth. It all becomes intertwined in our psyches and eventually we never even think to question it again.
That’s not just American culture.
It’s all cultures of the world. Other cultural traditions and expectations may seem weird to us. We rarely stop to think that our world view appears strange and misguided as well.
Yet, outside circumstances often force change, thankfully, otherwise there’d be precious little social evolution.
Often that outside force comes from things we have no control over. For example, our men may go to war and so women are suddenly asked to step into their jobs, a place where before the men went off to fight for god and country women weren’t welcome. They get a taste of something that they’d been denied and suddenly they’re questioning the way things have always been done.
Oh, my, the world their elders are still occupying is rocked by this change in attitude.
Suddenly, they’re noticeing that kids are also listening to suggestive songs and dancing sexually indecent dances. They’re reading books that promote more sexual freedom or asking questions that demand uncomfortable answers.
Plus, the elders are beginning to see younger and younger people filling positions of influence and power within the community that before had been occupied by their peers.
The elders are dying or losing their influence. One by one, they’re being replaced by young people who dance lewd dances and read strange books and refuse to not talk back or follow the rules that their elders still believed worked so well back in the day. Many of these rules never worked all that well in the first place, however, and certainly did nothing to improve free thinking, creative problems solving, and the birth of new ideas. Their world view was fixed in stone decades ago and changing their minds would be like pulling teeth if they had any teeth left in their heads to pull.
Ultimately, young people are forced to struggle to meet the challenges of the day with the outdated methods of the past.
They are being forced to adapt to things that are out of their control while swimming upstream against the cultural currents of their elders. What a shame that we didn’t have a different view of our own offspring. If only we could see them as the future, our only hope, and the best of us not a threat to us. But that’s not the way our brains work. We raise our children in an American culture based on old words of supposed wisdom like children should be seen and not heard or children obey your parents.
Obedience without question is actually a stupid way to live one’s life and never ends well.
Looking down the road, beyond my own lifespan, I see the world changing. I see lots of new challenges facing my granddaughter who happens to be twelve years old. I look at her in awe. She’s going to need to learn new skills to navigate the new world of her future. Her elders are going to pass on a pile of problems that we haven’t been able to solve. Her generation will be expected to step up to the plate. She’ll need to find creative solutions to these mounting problems. The ability to think outside the box will be vital.
I’m giving her permission to dance.
Teresa Roberts is a retired educator, author, world traveler, and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.
