Suffering Does Not Make You Stronger
An Old Lady’s Deep Thoughts #7
Practicing gratitude is a good thing. It keeps us humble.
As a kid, I suffered immensely when I found out that people were starving in many parts of the world. The pictures of tiny children, all skin and bones, haunted me. All these years later, I still have not received a satisfactory answer for our disturbing reality.
To all those suffering today from nature or humankind, I will not say the famous quote — there but for the grace of god go I.
It would be arrogant to pretend that a god blesses me but not you. No, instead, I extend my heartbreaking sorrow that your suffering remains a part of our world.
They say that what doesn’t break you will make you stronger.
Bullshit! Trauma does not make us stronger. It leaves scars on our psyches and changes the wiring in our brains. We are never the same again. No one escapes trauma in life. No one benefits from it.
Life itself is one giant traumatic event.
The day we drew our first breath began with trauma. You can’t tell me that being forced headfirst down a narrow birth canal and pushed out into a cold room with bright lights surrounded by loud noises, voices, and strong emotions wasn’t our first introduction to trauma.
Here you go, kid. Get ready because there’s more to come.
That was just the beginning. When I was a wee girl, I was tortured by the mere thought of the pain and suffering in the world. I’ve learned to handle it better. I had to if I wanted to function. So, I taught myself to close my eyes, look away, and avoid situations that could trigger that dark hopelessness that inevitably took me down the rabbit hole.
People aren’t stronger because they suffer.
We’re all broken to a greater or lesser degree. We’ve all been affected by the violent world we live in. Whether Mother Nature is staring down the barrel of her gun at us or humanity is creating chaotic and dangerous situations, we are small and often helpless in the big scheme of things.
I had hoped that humans might make significant progress by the 21st century.
But it appears not. We are little more than cavemen with cell phones bumbling through life. War is our go-to method of solving problems, we’re reluctant to share, bullies abound, children aren’t safe in their own homes, and greed is our number one motivator.
I sometimes allow myself to look.
You know — open my eyes and examine reality. But I can’t do it for long. Watching humans hurt one another is too distressing. I return to my safe place and draw the blinds.
So, as I practice gratitude — it could always be worse — I won’t insult those who suffer today.
We may not be able to thwart nature’s dire dealings, but the actions of mankind can be greatly improved. I am sorry that your well-being remains a distant dream, a long overdue dream that all humans are treated well by those of us who have it better.
It’s just my way as a humanist to acknowledge responsibility and gratitude.
Teresa is an author and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.
