Old People Need to Change

Or Step Out of the Way

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don’t criticize
What you can’t understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is rapidly agin’
Please get out of the new one
If you can’t lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin’

Bob Dylan

I was a teen when Bob Dylan crashed the scene. I remember it well. There was so much going on during the ’60s and ’70s, and a lot of it was due to young people becoming involved. It was a short but ferocious era that soon passed, leaving permanent change in its place.

The youth of that day were not particularly appreciated. Their parents wrung their hands in despair, their teachers were often appalled, and the government tried to deter them from their mission.

What was their mission?

The same mission all young people are hell-bent on accomplishing: they wanted to change the status quo. That’s never a welcome goal. Old people like things the way they are, for the most part. They don’t appreciate having the world they built questioned. Even if things aren’t working out as they’d planned, there is little to no interest in fixing the problems if it calls for change.

By and large, humans don’t like change.

Change is a process and generally takes years, even decades, to become normalized. A good example of this is health food stores. There was a time, back in the good old days, when health food stores were just getting started — little independent stores that carried organically grown foods and other products that were considered by old people to be a strange notion of the granola-crunchy crowd. Hippies were living in communes and growing their own food. They were considered dirty and weird by the establishment. That long hair and free love stuff simply didn’t belong in the greatest country in the world.

Fifty years later, you can find an organic section in the produce department of every big-chain grocery store in America. The establishment fought the idea, mocked it, and even tried to thwart it, but eventually more and more people began to shop at local health food stores, read labels, and choose products that were designed to be better for their bodies.

It took decades for this radical idea to become normalized, but in the end, the young got their way.

Times are a-changin’. Times are always a-changin’. That’s life in a world of diversity. Old people may not like it; they may even put up a fight, but in the end, no one can stop change.

The fact of the matter is, my granddaughter is growing up in a far different world than I did. I can’t fully understand her world, nor can she understand my old world. For me to insist that things be done today in the same way they were done when I was fifteen is ludicrous. I need to change, not my granddaughter.

I need to lend a hand or get out of the way.

If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard some old person complaining about today’s youth, my retirement funds would be substantially larger. Old people traditionally hate young people. They’re suspicious of everything they see them doing and everything they hear them saying. Compliments and words of encouragement are rare. Instead, there’s a cynical smirk that follows a snide remark.

“What’s the matter with kids today?” they ask over and over.

Nothing’s the matter with kids today, old man. You’re the one who’s losing relevance, not the youngsters who are soon going to take your place. They are learning to navigate the times, and trust me when I say, the times are a-changin’! Plus, you’re going to need their fresh take on things because you’re struggling to keep up.

Young people are expected to clean up the messes left behind by old people.

I’m not talking about a few little inconveniences. Nope! I’m talking about a legacy of messes created by old people. Whether it’s war, inequality, religious fervor, harmful cultural expectations, waste, damage, or simply that good old mom and dad couldn’t get along, young people are always stuck dealing with the aftermath.

Currently, we’re seeing old people in positions of power. I mean really old people.

What we need are more young leaders. Why? Because they understand the world that they live in much better than an old person who wants to keep trying the same things over and over again while hoping for different outcomes.

Sure, there’s something to be said for life experience.

But don’t overestimate the supposed wisdom gained from a lifetime of sorting problems. Lots of old people never fix their own problems. And although they do bring a level of experience to the table, they are often stuck in the past. We need the combination of experience and a current worldview to do justice to the problems of an ever-changing world. We need more young people to step up to the plate and assume leadership roles.

How can old people encourage young people to become leaders?

I had to think about this one for a bit. It might help if we raised our children with the right to speak their minds — allowing for personal tastes, opinions, and questions. OMG! I can visualize an old person cringing when they read that last sentence, that and sucking air through their tightly clenched teeth. I remember what it was like to be a child who asked questions. Maybe I was born with a naturally curious mind, but there were so many things very early on in my life that made absolutely no sense to me. I managed to make a lot of old people feel uncomfortable. They thought I was being obstinate when, in fact, I was very, very curious.

Traditionally, our cultural expectations have been centered around the core belief that children should be seen but not heard. You’d almost get the feeling that old people held a natural dislike for the company of kids. God forbid we had personal preferences of any kind. Something as simple as not enjoying green beans was frowned upon. We were supposed to hold our noses and swallow those green beans regardless. Of course, mom and dad were full of personal preferences, so much so that they often argued with one another. Nothing like contradictory behaviors to confuse one’s offspring.

Here’s a new idea:

How about encouraging our children to question things instead of simply answering with the classic “because I told you so”? How can we expect them to think for themselves if we don’t let them practice critical thinking as children? Then, when they head down their own path in life, maybe we can refrain from complaining nonstop about what miserable failures they are and instead support their fresh approach to solving old problems and their understanding of new problems.

It’s hard for old people to change.

I get it! They worked hard to establish the status quo. It took years to change the things their parents preached and sometimes practiced. When suddenly those expectations seem foolish and outdated to their kids, it feels disrespectful. There’s nothing an old person hates more than being disrespected by a young person. Why, it is such an insult that they often resort to smacking the kid in the face or on the buttocks just to prove a point. And what is the point? There are ways to do things, and we’re here to enforce our ways.

Inevitably, the younger generation changes things, however.

Bob Dylan got it. He represented his peers well with words that to this day carry an important message: life is not stagnant. Ideas are valuable. Curiosity is crucial to our existence. Questions are important to our survival. Personal preferences are the foundation of our identity. Nothing stays the same. Everything that’s new is one day old. Old people need to welcome change. Fear is not our friend. If you can’t help, then get out of the way.

Because these times, they are a-changin’!

Teresa is an author and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.