I’ve Never Met a Happy Person
Maybe Happiness is Overrated
It’s that time of year when many of us succumb to the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions.
We will set goals that we hope will bring happiness. It’s one of the few times of the year that personal reflection is celebrated. The rest of the year consists of running to and fro in order to make money, pay bills, and keep up with the Joneses.
All in an attempt to be happy.
Yet, I see no happy people. Granted, “happy” is a rather shallow word. Happiness is fleeting at best, if not artificially induced. I mean, if you’ve got to have a few drinks, smoke a little weed, or buy a new car to feel good for a few minutes, I’m not sure that’s the answer to our problems.
Content, untroubled, fortunate, satisfied, or grateful might be better word choices than “happy.” At least they’re a bit more realistic.
Do you know that a household of two people earning $50,000 a year has an income that is 7.4 times the global median? In other words, you are part of the richest 7.4% of the global population. Even if those calculations are off a bit, it’s astounding to compare oneself to the throngs of less fortunate people rather than to those who are much richer than we will ever be.
When I first started researching the topic of wealth, I soon realized that the wealthy have no way of gauging how privileged their lives are compared to the poor. That includes me. I never think of myself as wealthy. In American culture, a public school teacher simply doesn’t qualify as a top salary earner. If I were to remain provincial and refuse to look farther afield to gain a more comprehensive understanding of wealth and privilege, I might remain dismally disappointed in my situation.
The U.S. has only one measurement for success — money.
Literally, there is nothing that we do that isn’t monetized. Everything in this country, good or bad, can be traced back to money. You can never have too much money. With such a disproportionate emphasis placed on money, it’s very difficult for people to know when they have enough.
We’re shocked to discover that there are people in America and all over the world who look at me or you in much the same way that we look at the infamous one percenters — with disdain. It’s true.
It’s a hard pill to swallow when the tables are turned on us like that, isn’t it?
I’m left with a number of conflicting thoughts. First, I feel that I’ve worked hard, saved my money, and therefore deserve to reap the benefits in my old age. Theoretically, that may be true. A dyed-in-the-wool capitalist would definitely agree. All is fair in the moneymaker’s kingdom: I win, you lose. Competition is seen as the driving force, while cooperation is a sign of weakness.
But in this tangle of personal survival, individual desires, and win-or-lose ultimatums lies the reason for much of the pain and suffering in the world. And those of us who actually have it made often aren’t able to appreciate it.
Usually, when I write about happiness, people get edgy. I’ve broached the subject more than once with friends and acquaintances as well. The other day, I took a coffee break with a group of friends. For the first hour or so, they were largely taking turns sharing worries, disappointments, concerns, and anxieties with one another. Women tend to lean on one another, which is admirable. Yet, when I turned the conversation toward the happiness phenomenon, they immediately and adamantly insisted, in unison, that they were generally happy and loved life.
Okay. Yet we never spend an hour talking about how happy we are, or haven’t you noticed?
The belief in universal happiness is somewhat misleading. But it becomes even more confusing when we have culturally defined expectations of happiness, which are largely based on material things and money.
“In fact, research suggests that materialistic people are less happy than their peers. They experience fewer positive emotions, are less satisfied with life, and suffer higher levels of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse.” The article from which the above quote came was written in 2015, right after the turn of the year when people were recovering from “the post-holiday hangover, where we realize that we’re probably no happier than we were before we got that new flat-screen TV or cappuccino maker.”
Well, 2025 is right around the corner. Time flies when you’re having a good time, right? Maybe it’s time for me or you to redefine happiness with words of deeper meaning. Maybe we need to make New Year’s resolutions that are less about material wealth and more about gratitude, living within our means, learning something new, finding time to help other people in need, and living in the moment.
It’s just a thought.
I tend to write about what I’m thinking about. Maybe it’s Xmas and the emotions that swirl around the room when I’m watching It’s a Wonderful Life. I don’t know. But somehow, I think we tend to get it all wrong. We live out our lives chasing the wrong things.
Or maybe, I’m just waxing philosophical because I’m getting old.
Teresa is an author and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.
