Humans Are Very Predictable
It’s a Strange World Indeed
I learned a few things early in life that have stuck with me.
Even as a kid I sensed emotional undercurrents. It was like an annoying itch that I just had to scratch or else. For a good long while I tried my best to ignore these persistent gut feelings, but eventually, I came to accept that my gut was a reliable source of guidance.
I think I’ve always known that there’s a place where I end and someone else begins, a natural boundary.
I had grownups try to cross that boundary more than once, invade my space, my being-ness, and it always felt creepy. I just knew they were attempting to sell me a twisted version of the truth at the very least or an outright lie at the worst. I have no idea if everyone is wired like this. I just know that I was, and as I grew older, I learned to pay attention to my gut reaction to people, circumstances, and infringements on my being-ness.
I was a very dutiful child.
I wanted to please. I wanted to do the right thing. I was highly sensitive to other people’s feelings. The empathetic gene dominated my perceptions, but I also easily recognized a fraud.
There’s a cultural belief in American society that goes like this. Because adults know more than kids that kids need to watch, learn, ask few questions, and obey.
There’s little encouragement for a talented, intuitive, old soul in a child’s body. Nor are children encouraged to question what they’re told to believe. This is particularly damaging to the child who wants to please.
Those who are wired to compete, hurt, even destroy see us as easy prey.
The earlier we can learn to recognize the subliminal messaging that takes place between humans and then protect ourselves, the better chance we have of enjoying a good life. If we’re not aware of our surroundings, bad things can happen to us.
Human interactions reliably produce predictable outcomes.
The louder someone yelled a warning for me NOT to do something, for example, the greater the odds were that they were doing it themselves or that they were afraid that I’d succeed. Those two lessons have played out the same way multiple times.
Not just in my childhood but in my adult life as well.
The more a person preaches about their notion of what constitutes bad behavior, the chances are good that they’re guilty of said behavior. The more stridently they attempt to thwart an opportunity you might have; the chances are high that they’re jealous. In other words, they’re afraid you’ll succeed.
What should that tell me?
People aren’t always interested in how I’m feeling. They’re interested in how they’re feeling.
I grew up in a religious cult. They were obsessed with sex. Anything that even remotely suggested a person’s sexuality was rabidly opposed, suppressed, and punished. I was chastised, warned, even made to feel that I was bad long before I entertained thoughts about sex. Later, much later in life, I discovered that every one of my relatives, mom and dad and grandparents, had all engaged in premarital sex when they were young and that several of them had also cheated on each other.
Now, don’t get me wrong …
I don’t give a rat’s ass who people have sex with. I grew up to be a liberal, far-left, free-spirited hippie who accepts people the way they are not the way I want them to be. But my family wasn’t like me. They did a lot of damage to me with their disciplinary practices.
I turned out to be a creative person despite their efforts to get me to conform to their hypocritical standards.
In fact, my creativity has depended almost entirely on my free spirit. Creativity is like that. It’s the exact opposite of oppression. Creativity is the culmination of diverse thought. Diversity, contrary to popular opinions, not only saves our lives but keeps ecosystems thriving. Diversity enhances life. Diversity is life.
In other words, this planet depends on diversity.
For some reason, there are a lot of people who hate diversity. They want one color, one sound, one set of rules, one goal, one experience. In other words, they long to live the same day over and over again even if they’re miserable.
What a shame.
Once I realized that the very people who were supposed to LOVE me could be an actual threat to my being-ness, I then realized that people who had no family obligations would most certainly fail to have my best interests in mind.
It wasn’t that the world was out to get me.
Trust me I’m not that special. It’s just the way the world works. The selfish gene is real. Survival is a struggle. If we want to do more than just survive, then we’ll need to ignore a lot of people. We stand a much better chance of flourishing when we allow ourselves the right to be who we’re meant to be.
The sooner we learn to think for ourselves the better off we’ll be, too.
But how do we think for ourselves in a world that wants one color? How do we develop that ability to be ourselves in a world that won’t allow questions? If conformity is the top requirement in all cultures, how can diversity flourish?
It takes a lot of self-awareness and an ability to not fear aloneness if need be.
I’ve been alone often. My parents disowned me when I left the church and I’ve made many decisions since then that resulted in being alone. I’ve never been a card-carrying member of any club. My intuition has grown stronger, however, and my inner guidance system has never let me down. Let’s face it, the people who solve problems are almost always those who can think outside the box.
They’re often not appreciated, but they learned to accept the consequences of being different.
We are who we are, but I’m pretty sure that lots of people choose to bury the person that they were intended to be and become the person people want them to be. It’s a choice but a subtle choice. People aren’t often aware that they even have a choice.
Yet, I can’t help but wonder what the world has lost because of mass conformity.
How many great ideas did we sacrifice? Did we miss the chance for beautiful music to be written or fresh approaches to problem solving to save the day? How many new cures for what ails us, innovation, and unexpected discoveries were lost while inspiration and hope were merely frittered away in our attempt to belong?
Their loss was our loss.
Your loss is my loss. And my personal loss is the eternal struggle between reaching my own potential or allowing limitations to be placed upon me.
That’s the challenge we all face.
Teresa is a retired educator, author, world traveler, and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.
