Humans are a Mess

Election Misery

People are losing their cool, and having complete meltdowns over the election results. As we wait anxiously for the new administration to move into the White House, anxiety runs high. I don’t get it. Haven’t we seen the handwriting on the wall like — FOREVER?

Before I go any further just let me say …

If you practice self-protection by clinging to myths and fairy tales, you might want to give this story a hard pass. I’m a professional myth buster by trade. And, if there’s one myth out there that is a cruel lie, it’s this one.

People are mostly good.

Yeah, and I have swampland in Florida that I want to sell you, too. I mean do you read the news and watch your neighbors? Do you lock your doors, protect your phones, and worry about your kids? Please, let down your protective barrier for one minute and consider this explanation for why we have to do those things.

Humans are a mess.

This election is one teeny tiny sliver of cosmic messiness that we’re currently dealing with and although it’s disappointing, even scary at times, it’s par for the course. Humans mess everything up and rarely learn from the messes they create for themselves.

We are not mostly good.

We are generally operating in survival mode and barely getting by while we watch others even less fortunate suffer and thank our lucky stars that it’s not us. This messiness to life isn’t just in politics either. It’s in religion, workplaces, families, schools, governments, you name it, wherever you find people a mess is guaranteed.

Conflict is a big part of this messy, dirty existence we were thrown into.

It’s not our fault that we’re here. We weren’t given a choice as to whether we wanted to be born or not. But yippee, here we are whether we’re enjoying it or not and it turns out that our instincts are pretty basic. In fact, we have these big brains but frankly, they get us into trouble all the time. We weren’t born with problem-solving skills.

So let’s examine the social constructs that demand cooperation but inevitably deliver conflict — world, country, city, neighborhood, and family.

You don’t have to start with the whole world. That’s so big and multifaceted. We’d need months to scratch the surface barely. Country is a tad easier but still too complex to examine in a short story like this. City? Well, suffice it to say, that cities are struggling to get along, too. There’s a shooting almost every day in the town of 465,000 people where I live. A neighborhood should be an easier place for people to get along but no …

Fortunately, you don’t need to look further than the family to see humanity at its worst.

I know. I know. I’m such a Debbie Downer. Sorry. But I refuse to give you a fairy tale about the family that provides a feeling of fake well-being. Within the complexities of family dynamics, we’ll find everything we need to know about human interactions.

And the picture ain’t pretty.

People struggle to get along with one another. That’s right. Often even Mom and Dad hate each other. That surprises us because our myths about love and riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after gave us false hopes. My mom once almost bit my dad’s nose off. I know that’s a bit too personal to share but I’m trying to make a point. What our children have seen and heard from dear old Mom and Dad IS reality. If truth be told, most western fairy tales are pretty damn grim. I mean, a witch planned to eat Hansel and Gretel.

Charming, eh? That’s bound to make our children feel safe.

Every nasty bit of life that one can imagine takes place in families, cheating, fighting, incest, competition, bullying, neglect, lying, beatings, and even murder. If you can’t trust your family, that should tell you something about humanity.

We’re all a product of our environments to a greater or lesser degree. Families shape us, but families are far from perfect.

They pass on generational pain, DNA, and genetic predispositions to their offspring. No matter how hard we might try to be better than our parents were, mediocre parenting is the gold standard. Humans inherited a selfish gene, a natural propensity toward putting ourselves first. Some people are much better at this than others, however. They become treacherous bullies.

I don’t know if you noticed, but bullies tend to win.

That’s disheartening, to say the least, but more often than not those in power are bullies and psychopaths. And the funny thing is, no matter how poorly they’re suited to be a leader, people vote for them, even worship them.

How do I deal with tough reality?

Well, it might be nice to bury my head in the sands of woo-woo theories and toxic positivity, but ultimately, I’m a pragmatist. I’ve rarely gotten 100% of anything I wanted. I’m pretty thankful when I get 75%. More than that, however, I want to know my options. I’m a problem solver. There’s no way I’ll find the best solutions if I refuse to accept the truth first. So I choose to look life in the eye, identify the problem, and then sift through my options. The more options I have the more hope I have of finding a solution.

The point of this story is not to pick on families.

I chose to focus on the family construct because it’s easier to examine, but throughout society whether it be family, city, state, country, or world problems humans create messes for themselves that the next generation is forced to clean up. They then turn around and create a new mess to leave to their children. It’s the story of humans, two steps forward and one step back. Progress is so hard and regression is so easy.

Long ago, I accepted that humans leave a trail of debris wherever they go.

Sugarcoating the raw facts won’t help me keep an eye out for the next bully coming around the corner. So I lock my doors, hide my phone, worry about my kids, and stay on the lookout for bullies in all walks of life.

Politically speaking, being too trusting of any political candidate is foolish.

Joining a cult that worships a bully isn’t a smart step in the right direction either. I’m not surprised at how this election ended, however. Another bully won. I now know what I’m up against. I can start looking for options, pay attention, and not hide my eyes from the truth. Whether I like it or not, I should never assume that humans will be looking out for my best interests.

That’s my job.

Teresa is an author and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.