Do As I Say Not As I Do
If leaders shared a collective motto, what would it be? Hmmmm … I have an idea.
Lead by example? Naw.
That’s a good motto but is it appropriate? Probably not. How about …
Do as I say not as I do?
Did I hit a trigger point? Sorry but not sorry if I did. I’m trying to be brutally honest with you. In my quest to understand human nature, even predict what humans might do in a given situation, I have had a lot of proof over the years that humans with power love to tell others what to do.
Do they also love to follow their own advice?
No so much. In fact, if I had a dime for every time a leader failed to follow their own advice, I’d have a hefty bit of change rattling around in my pocket by now.
I started observing human behavior when I was about twelve years old and I haven’t stopped. That’s over fifty years of watching and learning to anticipate what will happen next once anyone in power tells me or others what to do.
So let me break this down for you.
It started with my parents who ran a religious cult. My dad was the leader. That meant he had full control over the lives of his flock. This wasn’t just a mainstream church in the community that ran a soup kitchen and asked people to tithe. NO, this was a full fledged come out from among them and be ye seperate fringe group that broke every aspect of daily life down into two categories — sinful or acceptable to god.
I bet you already know where I’m going with this. And, you’d be right.
Just like popes, priests, preachers, cardinals, and ministers down through the ages, my dad was big on telling others what they could do but less impressive when it came to following his own rules.
Oh, yeah. There was a lot of closet sinning going on.
I witnessed it, thought about it — a lot — and one day when I turned eighteen, I walked out and never returned. Seemed like to me that if I wanted a life of my own, that was my only choice.
Little did I know that this pattern of behavior was the rule of thumb when it came to people with power in all walks of life.
Parents do it, priests do it, even politicians do it. Let’s do it. Let’s fail to practice what we preach. (sung to an old Cole Porter tune)
I know. I know. Humans are flawed. I’d be the first to admit that. This isn’t so much about pointing fingers at another person as it is about not falling for their tricks.
I stopped having heroes a long time ago.
When I found out that Mother Teresa might have had a cruel streak or that Ghandi wasn’t always very nice to women or that Thomas Jefferson owned hundreds of slaves. Or more recently when politicians made their customary trips to wherever they pleased even though they were encouraging me to stay home during a pandemic.
I was supposed to be a good patriot and do my part by staying home and not spreading the virus.
Two years later, it’s clear that most if not all of the politicans on either side of the fence pretty well go wherever they please whenever they please.
I know. I know. This article isn’t so much about whether I was given good pandemic advice or not.
After all, I ended up staying home because I decided I really didn’t want to risk getting sick. (I hate big medical bills) This article is about the high probability that often there are two sets of rules. One for them and another for me. I could call out dozens of politicians who LOVE to preach, but refuse to apply the same stingent demands on their own desires and high expectations for the best life their positions afford them.
We’re funny like that — humans.
When given a chance most will do the same. Remember when your dad threatened to beat your ass when you and your brother fought in the back seat of the family station wagon on your way to Disneyland? How’d that play out? Do you mean to tell me that he and your mom are divorced? What? They were fighters not lovers even though they threatened you for fighting?
It’s in our DNA, I tell you.
And, no this article isn’t intended to address poor parenting so much as it is trying to point out that our culture doesn’t encourage questioning or thinking for one’s self but conforming and then sneaking around afterwards instead.
So, what’s my point, you might ask?
My point is this. We have to stop letting other’s tell us what to do just because they can. In order to do what’s in our own best interests, we need to THINK about what we need to do to navigate this confusing and often dangerous highway through life.
How do we do that?
By questioning everything. Yep! Questioning our parents, priests, preachers, politicians, teachers, professors, everyone. Because no one else has our best interests in mind in quite the same way we do. As adults, that’s our job. If we can master the ability to think for ourselves, then it will be a lot harder for those in power to trick us. It’ll be less likely that we’ll be disappointed.
We’ll accept reality instead of creating fictitious heroes.
I think we’ll be less likely to play for a team and more likely to critique actions. Maybe if more of us become dedicated to finding out the truth without being dependent upon someone else to BE our truth, we can work together to fix things. I mean really fix things by taking personal resonsibilty. There’ll be none of this bull shit priviledge left to skew the facts. Because we won’t settle any longer for …
Do what I say not as I do.
We’ll insist on examining what we’re being asked to do and then determining whether it even makes sense in the first place.
Now wouldn’t that be something, eh?
So does the truth hurt? Or will the truth save us? Yes and yes, but no pain no gain.
Okay okay enough with the platitudes.
I think you know what I mean. Right? Just think about. Now, go. Have a blessed day.
Teresa Roberts is a retired educator, author, world traveler, and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.
