Collaboration, Cooperation, and Compromise are the 3Cs for Creating Community
Should We Create our Own Subcultures?
One thing is clear to me, Americans are struggling to get along these days.
It’s an ongoing battle to get along in our marriages, at work, within communities, between states, with other countries, between families, even on a leisurely stroll amongst total strangers at a mall. There’s so little self-awareness that sometimes it feels like we couldn’t fix a problem even if it would save our lives. That’s called self-destruction.
I posted the above this morning on Facebook. It was in response to an article in the Washington Post with the following lead …
“They are preparing for war”. An Expert on civil wars discusses where political extremists are taking this country.
I rarely respond to news articles on FB, nor do I often enter into discussions on other people’s threads. But today I chose to engage, and I got this back.
I am not sure if you live here in the states but I don’t find your claim accurate.
Daily I see drivers allowing others to merge, people holding doors open for other people, etc. etc.
Yes, we have our disagreements but no more than many other countries.
Humanity is not perfect so sure, there are going to be disagreements in all cultures…
There was a little more give and take between the two of us, none of it acrimonious thankfully. I contend that even though the world struggles to successfully employ the 3Cs to build beneficial communities, that doesn’t make my assessment of what’s happening in America less noteworthy. The challenge becomes more significant not less. Collective self-awareness is our only way out. Otherwise, we will continue to repeat history.
We’ll use our creative minds to build something beautiful and then due to our lack of problem-solving skills burn it to the ground.
That’s been the trend for centuries.
Maybe we should apply our creative natures toward building subcultures that focus upon the 3Cs of successful relationships.
I know it’s been tried before. Communes, utopian retreats, and other shared attempts to live harmoniously while experimenting with different solutions to ongoing problems isn’t a new idea. I’m not advocating withdrawing into a closed society within the broader society. There’s lots of examples of that, too. The Amish have successfully remained closed off from the rest of the country, for example.
I’m not sure exactly how I see this taking place.
As I continue to explore self-reliance, a topic that I’ve recently written about a lot, I’m keenly aware that although I’ve always endeavored to be as self-reliant as possible, I still live within a community. I’m not a total recluse nor am I completely self-sustaining.
So, where do we find balance between self-reliance and community?
Like I said, I’m not sure. Maybe we start with small goals like food security and then expand on that. Community gardens and summer markets have been in place for a long time and seem to be answering a need that all communities have in common. I live in an association neighborhood. We have several parklike areas as well as walking trails. There is ample space for several community gardens or even orchards if we chose. Rather than just mowing these huge expanses, we might put them to better use. Certainly, there would be challenges, but I’m merely thinking out loud.
My neighbor is an excellent gardener.
We share the love of our individual gardens with one another. We swap seeds and solve pest problems together. I could easily see the two of us sharing the responsibility of a larger vegetable garden with one another. In fact, we both have at least two good spots in our small yards where we could raise and share food.
Could we collaborate and cooperate in a mutual effort to raise good food?
Maybe. Certainly, as we age it would be beneficial to have an extra pair of hands. She’s a single woman and although quite capable and independent has on occasion needed a little assistance from us. However, her skills are amazing and mine are dang good, too. We could even swap food. You know, the peaches from her peach tree for the grapes from my arbor.
It’s not easy to combine efforts and share resources, but there’s lots of countries in the world where extended families, friends, and neighbors live within their own subcultures, trading goods and sharing any abundance.
I’ve been wintering in Spain for seventeen years. What I learned from the elderly population during my first 90 days in a whitewashed-Andalucian village high in the mountains has influenced my thinking ever since. Unlike American culture where everyone is on their own from roughly age 18 on, Spaniards depend more upon the strength of the extended family. They lived under a dictatorship from the mid 40s until the early 70s. The people experienced poverty and national isolation. They adapted as needed. What I soon discovered is that many of the older Spaniards owned property that they hung onto whenever possible.
Many Spaniards owned a house in the village, often something less grand than what most Americans desire, but they also had a few acres of land in el campo (the country) not far from the village. Sometimes, they even had a small house on their land where they could spend the night when working in their gardens. They raised food that was shared with the family, and the surplus was sold to the local markets. If grandma passed away, the family kept her little house in the village as well as her land in el campo. Someone in the family would live in the house or they rented it out to others in need.
I also noticed that there was no age limit on how long a child should live at home.
In fact, until a person married, it was acceptable to live with your family. I stumbled across a considerable number of men and women who never moved out. Mom and dad grew old and they lived together until the parents passed away. They then continued to live in the family home and care for it. There was no shame in families helping one another. It was expected.
If they owned a business, they hired family members before they hired outsiders.
Spain isn’t the only country that places great emphasis on the extended family as a source of lifelong support. There’s a measure of commitment that’s expected in exchange, however. This is made possible because the cultural expectations are less about the individual and more about the group.
Of course, times have changed.
Franco died, democracy emerged, and Spain opened up, becoming one of if not the most favored vacation spots in all of Europe. Northern Europeans began to retire and expatriated to Spain where the weather was better and the cost of living less. Spaniards started selling their properties to the expats and growing their bank accounts. Then there was the 2008 housing crash. Did the old timers wish the family had hung on to the land in el campo? I don’t know. Some refused to sell, of course, but many others will never get grandma’s house back nor the farmland in el campo.
There are many circumstances where subcultures might be beneficial to sustainability during good times and support during hard times.
Independence only goes so far. When things become dire, people lacking the basics aren’t going to happily sit on the sidelines watching those of us who have food and shelter thrive.
Once again, I’m fishing for ideas.
There are more questions than answers when a person decides to live life outside the confines of their social norms. We soon discover that we’re on a huge learning curve.
What do you think?
Teresa is a retired educator, author, world traveler, and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.
