Are You Traumatized?
I’m not sure where this essay is headed. It’s a direct result of a series of hazy feelings that I’ve carried around with me for days. So, I’m going to follow the emotion and see where it leads.
There’s a word that keeps popping into my mind. Trauma. Let me begin by exploring that single word.
The families of yesterday’s school massacre in Texas are trauma victims. The students who survived will be, too. The family of the teacher who was murdered will be forever traumatized. The entire staff at the elementary school are trauma victims as well.
The Psychological Association defines trauma in this way …
Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. While these feelings are normal, some people have difficulty moving on with their lives. Psychologists can help these individuals find constructive ways of managing their emotions.
Now, if you’re still reading, let me ask you to think back over your life. Have you experienced any terrible events that caused a big emotional reaction?
If you answered no, you may be one of the lucky ones. Maybe your day of trauma is going to take place eventually. Nobody can know the future. Maybe there are people who never experience a traumatic event in their entire lives, going to their graves unscathed.
If you’re like most of the people that I know, you’ve experienced at least one traumatic event in your life.
If you’re like me, you’ve experienced a lot of trauma. My guess is that trauma is much more common that many want to admit. Some people even deny their own trauma.
I’ve had this theory for ages that we experience trauma for the first time during the birthing process.
Let’s face it, being born is a bloody affair for both parties, mom and baby. The baby is pushed out into a foreign environment, forced to take a first breath, and experiences sound, sight, smell, light, cold, heat, hunger, probing, and an endless array of unfamiliar sensations upon immediate arrival.
If that’s not trauma, I don’t know what is.
I’m not a believer in gods, devils, demons, and angels. Nor do I glorify Mother Nature. While there were no gods arranging my conception nor overseeing my traumatic birth, Mother Nature is not a benevolent spirit either. There’s absolutely zero indication that the universe was created with my happiness in mind.
Trauma isn’t a test to see whether I’m worthy, however.
Contrary to popular opinion, I do not believe that suffering makes us stronger. I actually believe the complete opposite. Suffering breaks us. Whenever I hear people discussing their own suffering, it’s often a very contradictory message. If I have the opportunity to get to know someone, as a listener and observer, I can eventually tell which traumatic events have influenced their world view.
Most of us have a back story that plays over and over again. We tend to impose the story on our friends and loved ones.
People who will indulge us a bit more. That back story may not even be relevant any longer, part of our distant past even, but it formed our perceptions and expectations about being alive and what to expect from others. It created our world view. We now see the world through our specific lens.
Everyone handles their traumatic experiences differently.
There are different levels of trauma, too. All trauma causes some degree of suffering, however. I’ve also heard it said that most people do not experience truly devastating traumatic events, the kind that scar you for life. Which always sounds either like wishful thinking, denial, or a very privileged life.
So, that makes my brain start skimming through current events in order to identify recurring themes that humans endure.
Hmmmm … you know, things like the war in the Ukraine or the six million Jews being wiped out in World War II, or the thousands upon thousands of refugees trying to cross borders to safety all over the world. Or how about the countless children who are abused by their parents? Which then reminds me of deep poverty and going to bed hungry. What about human trafficking? Or how many endure racism over their entire lives, actual disdain and hatred directed at them wherever they go? What about those who commit suicide? The numbers are rising dramatically. And, of course, what about those who were part of the massacre in Texas yesterday?
If put to the test, I think I could keep adding to this list for a long time.
Because the fact of the matter is, trauma and suffering is so widespread, even in modern times, that just recognizing how common it is becomes a kind of trauma on its own, especially if you have a grain of empathy in your body.
Most of my life, I’ve tried to figure out what makes humans behave the way they do, so often repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
And, I’ve concluded that suffering produces trauma and that most of us are traumatized to a greater or lesser degree. We even pass our pain down in our DNA from one generation to the next. There’s a tendency to make claims that suffering toughens us up, builds character, and turns us into adults, however.
I always shake my head in dismay when people speak of suffering as though it’s a good thing. Like no one could reach their full potential without it.
I often recall a favorite line in the movie The Sixth Sense when the little boy who was GIFTED a sixth sense told his psychiatrist, “I see dead people.” He could indeed see dead people. They were dead people who had been traumatized in life and were unable to find peace even after death. I always think to myself that maybe I was GIFTED with a sixth sense because where ever I look, “I see broken people.”
Is it even possible to have a society where trauma is less common? A world where life is truly treasured?
Where parents aren’t already broken when they decide to become parents? Is there even the slightest chance that we can create a society where no one goes hungry? Where no one is driven to commit suicide? Or are we destined to keep bringing children into the world with little else to offer them but the slimmest of chances that they’ll be safe.
Is it even possible to bring children into this brutal world with something more than an empty promise to keep them safe?
Humans are traumatized. Being alive is a traumatic experience for not just a few but many, many, many humans all over the world for centuries and centuries. That’s the truth.
If we understood this, maybe we could do better. We already know what a better world would entail.
We know. How do I know that we know? Because our fables and mystical tales of the next life often promise a better world, a place where we can feel safe and valued with all of our needs met. We know there will be no guns in paradise. Don’t we?
Wouldn’t it be nice IF …. uh, um, uh,
Oh, never mind …
Teresa Roberts is a retired educator, author, world traveler, and professional myth buster. You can find her books on Amazon.
